I'm Just Not Her
by nickellye
Summary: In everything, there is a Yin, and there is a Yang.Darkness and light. Beauty and the monster. Good and evil. A balance.Even in the Cho family twins, Chang and Lin. Whats more, Cedric has a choice, but what is it? who knows?


**Disclaimer: We al l know I don't own this cast of wonderful characters (well all except Lin). So yes, they sadly, belong to J.K Rowling. **

**A/n. Also a little heads up to you. This story was written some time ago with me under the influence that Cho's name was written the Chinese way. As it turns out J.K switched her name and made it up side down due to the fact she didn't want to confuse you American/British readers. So, actually, Cho is her given name but I'm really not going to bother to rewrite it cause then I would lose a big part of my story as her name holds importance. So bear with my mistake and me. Thank you for reading.**

Chapter 5

"Lin, I would appreciate it if you stop taking pictures of me". Professor Filius Flitwick, the Head of Ravenclaw House said laughingly.

"Oh… Professor!" Lin raised her camera once more and took a shot of Professor Flitwick standing on a ladder, scowling. Professor Flitwick was a short goblin like funny but occasionally quiet old man. He had a long fluffy beard that never seemed to be neat. At the moment he was reputing the Hogwarts flag up. Lin turned her camera to the working house elves. They dusted, mopped, swept, and her sense of smell told her they were also cooking. Some were putting up flags like Professor Flitwick; it was Halloween after all.

She was about to snap a picture when something collided into her.

"Dobby's sorry miss. Dobby is very sorry. Stupid Dobby" He was mumbling to himself as he cleared up the pumpkin juice that covered the floor. Lin didn't hear him, her mind was distracted.

"Is missy okay?" Lin looked back at Dobby, and notice that he was trying to wipe off the pumpkin stain on her jeans.

"Dobby, Dobby, you can stop now. I'm fine; it's just a little spill." She watched as the students gathered in groups, ready to head out to Hogsmeade. Chang was there, surrounded by her friends. Then the giggling and laughter started to fade; they going were to leave soon.

"Lin?" She turned her head back to the Professor, surprise to see that he looked concern.

"I'm fine." She smiled and he seemed content with that. She started snapping pictures again. She was to absorb with the house elves and faculty to notice that one person left the buzzing crowd of students. She took picture after picture her mind intent on nothing but preserving this moment forever.

"Lin you're wasting your time and film" She didn't look up. She was busy. Winky had just swept dust into Draco's face and she caught it on film. She took another snap shot of Hargid helping Madame Olmpe Maxime control the students, hand in hand.

"I'm not wasting anything if I am enjoying what I'm doing" She turned around, camera still in hand and caught a picture of Cedric off guard.

"Hey!" he screamed as he rubbed his eyes from the second blinding flash.

"Stop that!" he said almost snatching her camera away. Lin was laughing. She couldn't help it. He looked so frustrated over a few pictures. When she finally clamed down she realized he was looking at her strangely.

"What is it?" _Do I have a bug in my hair?_

"Nothing"

"Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?" she asked her concentration back on the senses before her; her mind wondering why she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"I decided not to. What about you?"

"Homemeade isn't as interesting as Hogwarts on Halloween."

"I don't get you. Hogmeade is covered in decorations and a half finished hall is more interesting to you?" He sat down on a cart containing stuff bats and skulls.

"Well yes." She turned to him saying, "Don't you think so?" When he shook his head she continued, "There is more life here, move movement; more beauty."

"I will never understand you" he said in wonder that she was more complicated than he thought.

"Imperfections are more realistic than perfections. Simple things hold more wonder and mystery. Do you understand that?" she was grinning but she didn't know why.

Lin was talking about her pictures; Cedric saw it differently. In his mind he heard her describe herself and he knew how true her words rang in his ears. _Imperfection… Simplicity…Lin do you know what you mean to me?_ He watched her as she got Dobby to do some funny faces. Her laughter sounded so sweet. _Enchanting._ Her hazel eyes held so much happiness, her heart so much pleasure. He felt the temptation to kiss her once more arouse him.

"Come on." He took hold of her arm, pulling her away from the dancing elves.

"What did you do that for?" her voice was on the verge of scolding him, she felt her anger rise. She turned back to see all the house elves doing their work again, their brief moment of joy gone. She was mad. Mad at Cedric.

"I want to show you something" He dragged her on, turning in the direction of the front door.

"Tell me where you are taking me."

"Or what?" He was grinning to himself, the fight she was putting up made his beating heart beat faster. He stopped when she didn't answer.

"Or I won't go"

"Even if I said it's a surprise?" He expected her to scream or maybe giggle like how Chang would. He expected her to pull away. He expected her to laugh at his awkward behavior. He expected all of that but not a question he didn't know an answer to.

"Why me?" her eyes were soft, her anger had faded but that didn't mean she wasn't on guard.

"Why me what?"

"Why me and not Chang? Why not someone else?"

"Honestly I don't know. I don't understand this myself." His voice was full of feeling; he couldn't hide that. They stood there awkwardly, looking at each other, trying to figure out what was wrong with them. Trying to figure out what they wanted.

"Are you going to come with me?" He asked this time; he knew demanding her to follow him would just enrage her further. He gave her his hand, willing her with his eyes to take them.

"Let's go" she said with a sigh. She gave in. She took his hand and they left.

From the window Professor Flitwick watched his student leave heading for the black lake, he heard her laugh and knew she would be safe. Cedric was a good boy, he would never hurt her. He watched till he could see them on more.

Happily he sang,

_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,_

_Teach us something, please,_

_Whether we be old and bald_

_Or young with scabby knees,_

_Our heads could do with filling_

_With some interesting stuff,_

_For now they're bare and full of air,_

_Dead flies and bits of fluff,_

_So teach us things worth knowing,_

_Bring back what we've forgot,_

_Just do your best, we'll do the rest,_

_And learn until our brains all rot._

Leaves fells from the trees, cascading down like rain drops. They ran through the forest, the sound of birds and crickets singing in the air. The further they went the clearer it seemed to Lin that they were near water. She heard the sound of splashes, smelt the sweetness of the lake.

"Where are we?" She had her suspicions but she wanted to be sure.

"You will see" He maneuvered her around another tree, making her dizzy with all the swirling and turning. _He is doing this on purpose!_ They ran further in: Lin almost tripped on a rock. Cedric stopped and helped her up. She gave him a push and ran away, laughing and giggling.

"Hey!" He stood up; cupping his hands he shouted at her again, only to hear a string of her laughter in the wind. "You're not getting away that easily!" He chased after her following the trail of giggles she left. He lost her a few times dew to the sprits she made at certain unpredictable times; most of them when she saw him near by; only to see a glimpse of her baggy shirt blowing in the wind.

"Lin, I see you. Come out, I know you are-" Lin stepped out from behind a tree and threw a handful of leaves at Cedric before rushing off again. _You little… I will get you for this. _He thought as he spat out a pine leaf.

"Lin!" He screamed to the sky, a somewhat force laughter came out of his throat.

Lin ran ducking behind those thick mangrove trees, turning back to check on Cedric every few seconds. She ran till she realized there weren't anymore trees surrounding her. She saw the sun glistening on a sliver black palette of water. She saw the reflections of the forest looking back at her in the lake, the grey white fluffy clouds dancing in the sky shone in the sliver water. She closed her eyes and heard the life around her, the bustling squirrels, the busy buzzing bees, the chirping swallow, the hooting owl. She heard the rustling leaves blowing in the light breeze. Her camera hung around her neck; she fiddled with it, and then raised it to her eyes, ready to take the perfect shot.

He saw her as she drew to a stop in front of the lake that held all her gaze. He crept up from behind, careful to be as quiet as he could. She didn't realize he was right behind her, her world in the water held her eyes.

"Got you!" He grabbed her waist and twirled her around. He laughed as he heard a scream escape from her. He smiled as the scented smell of jasmine and rosemary in her hair brushed his face. She pounded his hands that were held tightly around her small waist.

"Let me go. _Cedric!_" she laughed as he released her, placing her back on her feet.

"Your_ evil_, do you know that? This is the second time you made me miss the perfect shot" she said in between laughs. "You owe me big time"

Pouting Cedric said with a puppy dog look on his face, "Awh… Poor Lin." She stuck out her tongue.

"Come on Lin, it's that enough pictures for today?" he said, doggy paddling in the Black Lake.

"Alright what do you suggest I do? Join you in the freezing lake?"

"Why not? Are you scared?" He was grinning as he taunted her; secretly wishing she would join him.

"No, I'm just not crazy" _not yet anyway._ She took another picture of a mother bird and her chicks. Sighing she sat down on the grassy ground, taking Cedric advice she watched him swim, camera not in hand for the first time that afternoon.

"Did you enter the Triwizard cup?" she asked after he came up to breathe.

"Yep; Last week. They are going to announce the Champions today."

"I heard. Aren't you nervous at all?"

"I will let you be nervous for me" He dove back down. Sighing Lin waited for him to come back up. He was shirtless; his t-shirt lay in a scrunched up bundle next to her. His head came up first, then his hot muscular dripping wet body.

"Come on in Lin. The water is great" She gave in to his charming smile. Rolling up her jeans she thought about all the things she would do for him for just a smile_. Boy could he smile._ She took a step closer to the bank, then a step into the icy water_. I can't believe he is swimming in this._ She shivered as she took another step in.

"How can you stand this?" she was knee-deep, jittering from the chill that ran up her legs, numbing them, freezing them. She turned but she couldn't see him_. He must have taken another dive. _She started to turn back to the dry, warm land when someone pushed her head first into the water. She came out soaked in lake water.

"You're a monster!" The water was as high as her chest now and Cedric was right next to her laughing his heart out. She pushed his by shoulders into the water just like what he did to her.

She swam around the shallow part of the lake; she was still traumatize from drowning when she was six; while Cedric asked her a hundred and one questions about her family. Her body was getting used to the chill and moving around did help keep her from freezing up.

"What's that mark on your neck?" She plunged head first into the water, coming out not because of the need to breathe (she had her bracelet / asthma air bubble on so she didn't need to come up so often) but because she heard Cedric's question just before her head touched the water. She swam neared to him, wondering how he could see her Cho family tattoo.

He tucked her hair behind her ear, making the marking she hid obvious to the eye. He ran his hand down the red moving dragon on her neck, admiring it and wondering why she hid something as mystify like it behind her hair.

_Lin please get a hold of yourself._ She stopped his hand, and let it go. She moved away, afraid. She still felt the burning sensation his fingers left on her neck. She traced where his hands were just seconds ago, his feather light touch left more markings than he could ever imagine.

"You didn't answer me" He approached her, but she backed away. _What the hell is wrong with her?_ Then he saw the guilt look in her eyes_. She is thinking about Chang._

"It's the Cho Family Signature Mark. All of us Cho's have one." She got out of the water, her legs felt tried, her mind was crowded. Thoughts of what her family would think flooded into her mind, her sister's heartache if she knew what Lin felt, and the fact that Cedric was just a friend; none of them wanted to leave her alone.

"Chang doesn't" Lin sat on a stump, looking back at the darkening sky. Sighing, she tried to change her mood.

"You obviously never had sex with her then" she saw the shock on his face; it gave her some pleasure to know that's she was right.

"How can you be so sure?" he got out of the water, laid on the grass using his shirt as a pillow and closed his eyes.

"You would have seen a Cho Family Tattoo on her if you did. It's on her lower back, under her right shouter blade."

"You know, there is the possibility that we did it in the dark."

"Whatever," she felt mad somehow at the thought. The possibility of what he said dint occur to her.

"Why is it a dragon? Why not something else?" He asked curiously.

"(sigh) A few centuries back one of the First Cho's tamed a dragon; he used to ride the skies on it's back. The people used to worship him; they gave him gold, food, anything he wanted because they used to believe that the dragons controlled the weather and the person who controls the dragon…well you get what I mean. Anyway, later he decreed that every Cho should be given the mark of the dragon so they never forget."

"That's a tad bit showy."

"I know, everyone else agreed with him because of the advantages that being worshipped by muggles gave them. They just wanted to find an excuse to show that they are purebloods if you ask me." She fingered the marking on her neck. The very marking she was mocking, the very marking that showed the world who her family were, the very marking that showed the world who she was.

"So why is yours on you neck?"

"Different positions mean different things."

"And being on your neck means?" he propped himself up on his elbow, looking at her, admiring her.

"Intelligence; I guess they got it wrong." _I'm not as smart, I will never be as smart as Chang._ The same string of thought came to her, and it rang as true as it did all those other times.

"They who?"

"The Elders; head of the family" she explained when she saw the puzzled look on his face.

"Why would they be wrong?" He caught her gaze and she knew what he was stating. _He's wrong._ She tore her eyes away from his, ripping her heart out in the process.

"We should go its getting dark." She stood up, leaving, not caring whether he was following or not.

"Lin, wait up" he ran after her, struggling to slip on his shirt at the same time. He saw her in front of him, her shoulders hunched as though she had the weight of the world resting on them. He caught up with her. _Did I do something wrong?_ He turned her around so he could see her face; her saw glittering droplets fall from her hazel eyes.

"Lin is something wrong?" he sounded so concern. _Will this pain ever stop? Yes, I think I'm falling for you and you're dating my sister. You're the most amazing person I have ever met and you're off limits. You are the greatest thing to happen to me and I all these stupid memories of you don't seem to leave me alone. You are the one thing I want and can't have, and you don't even know it. I hope this makes you happy, I don't think I can ever forget you._

A last stray tear slid down her cheek, wiping it away with his thumb he waited for answer. He heard he sob as she tried to pull herself back together, to get her emotions under control. He wanted to pull her into him arms, so he could keep her safe. So he could keep her monsters; pain away. He tried to, he opened his arms and tried to circle her; she fidgeted and pushed him away. He felt hurt, more than any punch or kick could ever hurt him.

"Lin, you can trust me," She looked up and saw sincerity in his eyes, she had to look away. The pain in her heart hurt too much. She felt it as it tore, as it ripped itself apart again and again.

"Lin?" she walked away. Her heart was being eaten up by rapid dogs, torn savagely to pieces.

_Why do you hate me Lin? Why are you doing this to me? What did I do wrong? _His pain pounded in his chest, changing rapidly to anger. He grabbed her hand tightly, not caring about her whimper of pain. He drag her back to Hogwarts, not looking or talking to her just incase he started taking out his anger on her. His grip softened as Hogwarts came into sight. She fought him for release. He looked at her wondering why she was putting up such a struggle. There was fear in her eyes, fear of him or for him he couldn't pinpoint but it was definitely fear for something. Then he just let her go.

"Lin…" he said as she rubbed the pain out of her wrist. He tilted her chin up and saw stubbornness in her face. She wouldn't cower before him; he didn't want her to. He took a step back, his eyes still studying her profile.

"Let's go back" She nodded, still too stun from the rage she saw in him. _What did I do wrong?_

"Lin? I'm sorry," he apologized to her just before they stepped into the great hall. She didn't answer; she went to her usual seat and sat down.

Confused and partly mad at the world, he turned away from her, making his way to his friends' anything to get his mind of her.


End file.
